The Sad Truth Behind My Enthusiasm

Hi all,

This post will be particularly more heartfelt as I talk about some of the things I feel which will hit home for me, perhaps even for some of you reading this. If you are able to relate to this, then take heart in the fact that you are not alone in your experience. 

Ever wonder why some people continue doing what they do, even if everyone else can see that it is not worth the effort? 

Don't they see that their efforts will hardly make a difference? Do they know that they are wasting their time?

That was what people used to say about me. When I joined the student council back in my JC days, there were quite a number of people discouraging me in an attempt to 'avoid wasting my time'. They told me things like "It's not worth it, people will not appreciate you" or "Nothing that council does makes a difference". Of course, being the overly optimistic person I am, I ignored these comments and went with my heart, all ready to make a difference in the school. It did not take long for me to become disillusioned. I became aware that to actually make a difference, the people have to change - and that was something I could not change. Hear me out for a moment here:

You see, there is no such thing as a perfect community or organisation. There are always problems waiting to be resolved. Yet, the two main types of people that I observe are: 1) those that turn a blind eye to these problems and pretend that everything is fine; and 2) those who tried to resolve these problems but give up eventually because no one else is interested in resolving them.

The former does what is easy: it fits into the norm because everyone else is doing it. If other's aren't too bothered about these issues, why should you? Besides, bringing up problems within a community will only cause others to dislike you for being a wet blanket.

The latter does what is ideal initially; but due to discouragement and lack of results, overtime, they too start to realize that they have been too idealistic to want to bring about the change that they wanted to see. They start to see no point in putting in the extra hours and effort if no one else was going to. "Why am I always the one taking the initiative" becomes the perennial question. And I have been in this exact situation too often in my life, I started to lose my direction. 

I know I'm not the only one, there are many others whom I have spoken to who share the same sentiments; and its extremely sad that these people, who used to be so full of energy, passion and dedication to their ideals, have become drained, uninterested and lethargic overtime, simply because of the inherent problems of the community. I grieve for these people, because I know how it feels like to give your all and yet, receive nothing but disillusionment and a sense of hopelessness and despair.

Unfortunately, I feel this way too, at times, even in my own church. I am fully aware of the problems within the community, both as a whole and within the community of young people. While serving, I started to question myself: "Why are those volunteering to serve and helping out the same few people?" I saw a repeat of what I have been trying to do in various stages of my life: me and a few others trying to evoke change for the better in a community but burning out eventually due to the lack of cohesiveness of the community. But then I asked myself: "Is the community really to blame? Have I found any community out there that do not carry similar problems? Or am I just hopping around from place to place, in a hope that I'll find the perfect, flawless community to be in? In that case, why would I need to bring about any change then?"

I guess that shook me a little, and I've come to realize that there will ALWAYS be problems; and there's nothing I can do about that. What I CAN do, however, is to change the way I respond to it:

If there are problems, I don't pretend that they don't exist. I embrace them.

If everyone's waiting for someone else to make the first move, then I make the first move.

If no one takes the initiative, then I will take the initiative. 

If people think it isn't worth it, then I will show them that it is.

It doesn't matter if people think I'm a fool, or if people label me as 'simply enthusiastic'. This is because I know what my goals are, and this is my way of staying true to them. Here's why:

No matter how insignificant my efforts may seem, or how much people may not seem to care or appreciate my work, I know that all these discouragements are just a mere illusion. Because I know when I continue to serve and care, knowing that we all feel the same sense of being alone in our endeavours, deep down in each person, something will stir. Something will make them feel "hey, this guy is actually trying hard to bring people together for a good cause! Let's join in!" And this will go a long way because down the road, these same people will do the same thing as I did - to continue to work and serve because they see that somehow, they too will change someone else's heart, no matter how small the change.

As long as there is hope that people's hearts can change, there's is no better reason for me to keep pressing on doing what I do despite all the drawbacks. In fact, I can't help but feel a great sense of fulfillment when I see the young adults in the community getting to know each other better through a BBQ dinner or when someone mentions how much they enjoy the little times of random fellowship that we have together. It's simply awe-inspiring, how God takes our tiny, little effort and multiply it hundred-fold! 

In the midst of such optimism, I do not deny that I see the heart-wrenching reality of the situation. We're all going to get older and busier, and we won't be able to do the things that we are doing now. All these memories that we choose to create are the things remaining from the effort that we put in now. And I'll admit, my passion and energy will become limited in time to come. It's only a matter of time that I won't be able to do what I'm trying to do anymore. By that time, will I have gotten closer to my goal of truly bringing people together? How far will I be from my expectations? I shudder to imagine how I'd fare; which is why I'll keep running this race.

As long as I'm still breathing, I will spare no effort to make the best change I can make.

And I'll die with no regrets... but the sad truth behind my enthusiasm? Fear.

If you are still reading this, I thank you for your patience. Hopefully my story has somewhat inspired you if you've felt this way at a point in your life. Whatever you are doing or wherever you may be, don't ever stop doing what you believe in, especially if it's for the better of the people around you. Don't ever let the norm hinder your perseverance. Don't ever let your fear of judgment kill your passion. It will be worth it, trust me on that.

May the Lord bless you, O child of God.

Matt

Simplexity: simple, yet complex

Hello!

I haven't had a post in ages and thought this might be a good time to record a few thoughts which I felt would invoke much thinking. These are simple points but they carry much weight both in terms of truth and contemplation, hence the title.

For those who may not know, I have had a rough few months, especially in the workplace. I shall not give much detail about the experience (to spare you the agony of having to read these long stories) except that it was a truly trying period. However, upon listening to today's sermon, it became apparent to me that everything I have gone through is a necessary experience. It is only till now that I could piece everything together and make sense of it.

Note: The following points are not necessarily linked so they may end up seemingly random.

1) Practise what you preach.

Yes, its the grand-daddy of all cliches. There are many variants of it, such as: "Do what you say", "pot calling the kettle black", and so on. However, just think about it a little deeper and you'll begin to realize how words cannot express the sheer validity of such a statement.

This is the biggest gripe of non-believers out there today: 

Christians are some of the biggest hypocrites they have seen.

In all honesty, I do not blame them at all. Well, I used to think the same thing too! But have we stopped to think why is this particularly so in the Christian realm? Interesting, isn't it? To see how this accusation is most commonly applied to Christians all over the world, yet we barely hear the same thing said about people from other religions.

One reason for this is because Christianity makes the some of the boldest claims among the other faiths. Here's one of the biggest claims: "Jesus is perfect, and therefore, he is able to die for our sins and redeem us."

Now imagine yourself to be a non-believer and reading this: you'd probably wouldn't buy it. And why's that? For one, most people have already subscribed to the belief that perfection does not exist in the world (especially in our post-modern era) that they have already dismissed the notion that Jesus was perfect, much less talk about existence of sin and redemption. How will one attempt to even justify Jesus' perfection when 'no one is perfect'?

Of course, there are many more examples to illustrate my point but the bottom line is: a faith with greater claims demand greater scrutiny. And that is one of the most crucial factors when considering why Christianity is subjected to greater persecution. It is because of this that Christianity tends to be challenged to a larger extent than most other faiths and that's causing people to cry out - that we are not living up to what we claim.

It's a sad truth but here's where the thin chasm between a Christian and a non-Christian lie: The inexhaustible ability to live out his faith without compromise but with congruence. 

Essentially, if you claim to love another, then all the more it is important to demonstrate it; sometimes in the most unexpected or smallest ways. Of course, having said that, the claims of Christianity is undoubtedly difficult to live out but for the critics: do understand that in no way Christians claim to be perfect. Instead, we acknowledge that Jesus is indeed an embodiment of perfection itself and we want to strive to be more like Jesus. We will never be perfect, but we can be more and more like him. And if we fail in doing what we say to do, it is simply proof that we are ultimately still human and in the process of growth; and thus seek your forgiveness if we come across as hypocrites. This brings me to my next point...

2) Congruence is key.

Nobody likes someone who holds double standards, especially for a Christian. However, sometimes when a Christian fails to do something he or she is expected to do, at times under circumstances which may go unheard, they are accused by another Christian of being a bad testimony. Is this really the case? 

Say for instance, a Christian is unable to attend bible study or even Sunday service for that matter due to work commitments or family commitments. Do we pass judgment upon, or even scorn in silence at him/her? Or do we celebrate and give thanks for the fact that one of our brothers/sisters is wholly committed to giving his/her best at the workplace and for the family, both of which are things that Christians are called to do? I believe we can sense the former taking place quite often while hardly ever noticing the latter; at best, we just shrug it off and say: "Oh well, he/she is busy, hopefully he/she shows up next time!"

So what's all that talk about living out the values that we are called to?

If a Christian does the things that demonstrate biblical values, sometimes even at a compromise of certain interests as illustrated above; yet receive no praise or encouragement and instead finds himself/herself being badmouthed in return, what will he/she think of the rest of the community? How can we be so shallow to say that these people do not have their priorities right for putting other things before church when these are the very things that God has impressed upon us to fulfill? How warped is that logic!

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not saying that this is an excuse to condone the actions of people who perpetually avoid their responsibilities and repeatedly give excuses for themselves. I am saying that we need to look into our own actions, especially ones that are directed at others, and reflect on whether our words and actions are aligned with our thoughts and values; and whether we are sending the right message to other believers.

3) We MUST not marginalize non-believers.

I think this one's pretty obvious. Shockingly, not many believers have this mentality. Many believers tend to hold the conscious notion at the back of their heads that when they come across a non-believer, they have somewhat higher moral standards than the non-believer. However, this thought can come naturally with a conscious conjuring and admittedly, I have caught myself red-handed at times with these thoughts. However, it is important to understand that this mentality is complete ABSURD.

Speaking as a non-believer previously, I often looked down upon Christians largely because I had this idea that they saw themselves as 'better' than non-Christians. They seemed to have this need to only mix around with non-Christians and anything that a non-Christian said to them would always be considered as 'bad influence'. This is probably why you see quotes such as "Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a good person". 

In all honesty, that is true. As a non-believer, what made me scorn Christians even more was the fact that I, as a non-believer, could exhibit better moral values and upbringing than they could. So if I, being a non-believer, could be a better person than you so-called Christians, people who claim to be of high moral standards, what does this show? It shows that Christians are even worse people than non-Christians!

It's a sad and harsh truth, and that is why all the more a paradigm shift in thinking is urgently needed. We, as Christians, must see ourselves in no way better than non-Christians for we are all sinners, in need of God's grace and mercy. The only difference should be the fact that Christians are willing to give up their lives for Jesus and to follow in his teachings while non-Christians (many prefer to call them pre-believers) are people equally in need of Christ but just have not gotten to know him yet. 

You know, we could learn a lot from non-believers at times. Just ask around the more experienced church elders and Pastors, they'll have you know that some of the most important lessons on character were taught to them by non-believers!

Lesson: Reach out to non-believers with open arms and give ample weight to their opinions and thoughts. For all you know, you might get to know them at a much deeper level and they'll appreciate you for it. Regardless of whether you'll bring them to Christ or not, the least you could do is to bear a good testimony.

Writing up till this point, I've realized that I have so much more to write but perhaps I shall leave those thoughts for another day. Hopefully my thoughts have given you some insight, even if just a little, and helped you gain perspective, Christian or not.

I truly appreciate your support if you have read all the way to this point. Have a good week ahead and may God bless you in all that you do!

Cheers,

Matt