Short Series: The Secret To Happiness

Hello there,

What if I told you the secret to happiness? 

Would you be interested? 

Why would you?

In today's day and age, there is much talk about finding happiness. You have self-help books telling you how to seek happiness. You have movies and stories encouraging you to chase after happiness, to pursue the things that make you happy. You hear about how "money cannot buy happiness" or  that "money buys you happiness, you just need to know how to spend it". 

Find happiness, chase it, obtain it. Happiness is out there, you just need to want it. After all, the purpose of life is to be happy!

What if I told you that there is no secret to happiness?

What if I told you that there is, however, a secret of happiness?

You see, happiness is often thought of an ends in itself. People think that happiness is the end that is finally waiting for you, after all your hard work and striving. The truth is, folks, you can't seek happiness - at least not your own. When you get what you want, you feel happy. However, when you see someone else get what they want or need, especially if its because of you, the immense happiness erupting from your very core is indelible. And guess what? The happiness you get from seeking the happiness of others far surpasses that of seeking your own happiness. 

I like to use the term 'joy' instead of 'happiness' because I find happiness to be more of a state, something that's temporal and circumstantial; but joy to be something that's sustaining, hardy and independent of circumstance. And that's really what we feel when we seek the joy of others: you could have having a terrible day but still experience joy when you help that fella get his wheelchair into the train. And when the joy is within you, what you're simply experiencing is enjoyment ("en" literally meaning 'within' and "joy" meaning 'great pleasure').

Here's the secret of happiness: 

You want to seek happiness? No you don't

It's joy you're seeking. Not your own but someone else's.

Cheers,

Matt

Short Series: Looking Back and Moving Forward

Retrospect is amazing. Often, we learn the most through looking back at our past experiences and reflecting upon them. We think about what we did, what we should have done instead, and how we should have done it better. Most of our lessons are learnt through retrospect, hence the phrase: "experience is the best teacher: it gives you the test first and delivers the lesson later". Therefore, cultivating a habit of reflection is arguably one of the most important aspects of growth.

Growth, however, cannot be sustained by mere retrospect alone. You simply cannot hope to improve simply by looking back and thinking of what you should have done. Our thoughts need to be put into action. This is where introspection comes into practice: We have to examine the state of our mind and then consider carefully what steps we should take next. This is where discipline and obedience comes in - while we don't know what the path ahead will present, we have to simply walk in the things we know, and in full integrity.

When we maintain the a balance of the two in our lives, we find progress; we find improvement; we find growth. This is true of spiritual growth: walk in faith obediently and faithfully, steadfast in the teachings of the Word; and when you blunder, reflect upon it, seek the mercy and grace from God and ask Him for the strength to move on. Above all, find delight and joy in doing the will of God. (Psalm 40:8)

God has an awesome and amazing plan for each of our lives, are you ready to starting living it out?

Cheers,

Matt

Short Series: Bigotry vs Dissimilarity

Hi all,

This is going to be the start of a series where I'll pen down certain thoughts and condense them into three short paragraphs (perhaps with a concluding liner). My goals are simple: to be succinct and to cultivate the habit of writing my thoughts down regularly.

Today's topic is as the title reads: Bigotry vs Dissimilarity. Let's explore!

Bigotry. That term carries with it a negative connotation for good reason. Bigotry is defined as the intolerance towards others holding different opinions. Usually, a person would have done something drastic or appalling, something driven by hatred and intolerance, to warrant the label of a bigot. For instance, a person who refuses to dine at the same table as someone of a race which he dislikes may be considered a bigot. Bigotry: it is stubborn; it is obstinate; it is hateful; it is borne out intolerance.

Tolerance, that is the next point. To be tolerant of someone or something does not mean you cannot say that that person or thing is wrong; in fact, a subject has to be wrong in first place for you to say: "It is wrong, but I shall tolerate it". Thus, tolerance is the act of accepting the difference in opinions and views, or accepting that something is not right. This brings me to dissimilarity: having a difference in opinion, views or stand. When we exhibit dissimilarity, regardless of entity or context, we are presented with the choice of either being tolerant or to discriminate upon the realization of our own disagreement.

As opposed to being a bigot, to be dissimilar can mean that you take an opposing stand but yet can be accepting and tolerant of the other party, treating them no differently than how you would treat someone otherwise. I may disapprove of gay marriages, for instance, but that doesn't mean I would necessarily jeer at a gay couple when I see one, or refuse to offer kindness to them. Dissimilarity with tolerance. That's not bigotry. It isn't the same thing. Therefore, you are free to disagree - on the condition that you can be tolerant. 

Bottom-line: Do not conflate standing against a view with standing against the person.

Cheers,

Matt

5 Truths of Life I Learnt on My 21st

Hey all! First post of 2016!

After having the biggest surprise yesterday for my 21st birthday, I've been overwhelmed by many thoughts. Some of these are thoughts of appreciation and feeling fortunate and blessed to be in the midst of a wonderful crowd of people - family and friends alike. Others are thoughts of contemplation and reflection: looking back at my life and realizing God's hand in every moment of it leading up to where I am now. 

For the former, I think I've said much already (in my trademark lengthy whatsapp messages) and I'm grateful for all of you whom I consider family. Thank you for making this birthday so special and meaningful. Each and every one of you are important and special to me.

As for the latter, I think I will pen them here in short, anecdotal form. Disclaimer: everything said here is from and only from my own experiences. So here we go:

5 Truths of Life I Learnt on My 21st

The path that I'd walk to where I am now wasn't an easy one. Wherever I went in life, be it in school or social groups, I never felt accepted nor did I feel belonged to anywhere. In fact, I had my fair share of betrayal, isolation and ostracizing; to which I used to feel bitter about. I suppose knowing pain allowed myself to relate to others who are in similar situations better, it somehow became part of me to reach out to people who felt out of place, alone, hurt, you name it. Perhaps it was because I was so adamant about reaching out to people and binding people together, that some friendships still remain and I guess, looking back, I did have some part to play in them. And what I realized is that when you live your life, placing all that's important to be the things of others, people come to value you as well. I think that's the beauty of human relationships: to be able to show love and to feel love.

Don't go about seeking love from others. Love others first, and you'll find love seeking you.

When I found a community that I finally feel belonged to, I found myself so in-adept at loving others. I realized how self-centered I could be, and how little I cared for others. I owe much of the growth in this area to the Word of God, for it is by the cross that I was taught to love. I was taught how denying myself could be so important to living for others. To live for someone else was to die to oneself, like a mustard seed dying so that it can grow into the mustard tree that gives shade and shelter to others. Of course, this is one of the toughest lessons to learn and it does not come without much suffering, pain, disillusionment and discouragement. However, the choice to learn to live for others is one that can lead to much growth.

I've yet to see a man grow from an easy experience. Inspired? Yes. Grow? No. It is in our lowest points that our character is molded.

In the journey of forging close relationships, there'll always be hurt, difference in expectations, disappointments, you name it. After all, when you're closer together like family, it's so much easier to step on one another's toes. That's probably why the people who hurt you most are the ones closest to you - you'd expect more from someone closer. I think that was what I struggled with. Through times of loneliness and disillusionment to how friends only 'come and go'; through times when I felt no one would be too bothered if I wasn't around anymore, I guess I've learnt to look beyond these feelings of doubt and obscurity and to embrace the difficulties of building a community, yet staying positive and hopeful of the relationships that are being built.

If you haven't been defeated, crushed, torn apart, discouraged, hurt, humiliated, misunderstood, or at least had a change of heart; then you haven't truly grown.

Through chats, cards, messages and kind words, I've learnt that people do appreciate my effort in building the community. I guess, however, there is a sad reason for that - which I have posted previously not too long ago. But hearing how the small things I do (which really isn't much) help to make the group livelier and comfortable or provide enjoyable avenues for fellowship pretty much give me the sense of fulfillment in the things I do. Whether it be hosting card/board games for others, making lame jokes at the dinner table, playing the fool in group settings or organizing something fun, I guess the love for making others feel belonged drives me to always want to do more. 

If you are building a community that is as big as yourself, you are not building a community.

Lastly, there are, indeed, times when I felt discouraged about my vision to build up the community. When things don't go the way I hope or nothing much that I do seems to be effective, I start to question the purpose that God has given me. "Is He really calling me to bring people together? Is that truly my God-given mission?" Honestly, till today, I am still contemplating this, and I've yet to be a hundred percent certain. I suppose from what others tell me and how I feel, I can at least say that it's something God has equipped me to do and its something that resonates with me. And I can't express enough how encouraged I am when I know that there are others who share the same vision as myself. Even more amazing, some of them have even been encouraged to do the same too! I'm sure of one thing:

Walk firmly in your God-given path. Even if you don't get to where you'd like to be, you'll have many others walking beside you.

That pretty much sums up the few important lessons I've learnt in my transition into adulthood. Though I can't boldly claim to be an adult myself yet (I still find myself lacking in many ways; plus, I like the term 'young adult' haha), I'm still in the process of learning and growing in God every day. I'm thankful that this journey, albeit rocky here and there, has given flavour to my world. I'm forever indebted to God and His grace for all that has happened and is happening in my life. I can only imagine and look forward to the brightest, most awesome community that is the Kingdom of Heaven!

Cheers,
Matt

The Fall Of This Generation

A poem I wrote while contemplating how the world around me works:

The fall of this generation

will come swiftly as the wind.

The destruction of human souls,

not from outside but within.

The eyes attempt to see the things

that we weren't meant to see.

Callous espionage, betrayal, deceit;

in the name of curiosity.

Oh, the irony of turning to trust

only the things in sight;

but failing to see the things that kill

are the things that bring delight.

The ears, they fool us, they make us think

that just because we listen,

we know more than those before us,

our obstinate nature hastens.

The experience of those who came before us

counts for nothing here,

For good is the advice we glean for ourselves

as the ones that fall on deaf ears.

The tongue, the greatest tool of evil,

bestowed upon our kind.

But woe to us, the words we say,

it has enslaved our mind.

For the glamour of speech has blurred the glimpse

of the knives that we have sheathed.

The bark is often worse than bite,

When the lies lie near the teeth.

The hands have made us capable,

for the wrong reasons it seems.

They have learnt to work on their own,

instead of in a team.

Worse still, the hands are idle,

unmoved in the face of need.

How contrived activism may be

when a movement mistaken for a deed.

The fall of this generation

hastens by the day

It obsesses with temporal gain

than the truth, the light, the way.

We think we know better:

We got morals, skills and goals

In the end, the harsh truth is that

nothing lasts, not one bit at all...

Not in this fallen world.

The Sad Truth Behind My Enthusiasm

Hi all,

This post will be particularly more heartfelt as I talk about some of the things I feel which will hit home for me, perhaps even for some of you reading this. If you are able to relate to this, then take heart in the fact that you are not alone in your experience. 

Ever wonder why some people continue doing what they do, even if everyone else can see that it is not worth the effort? 

Don't they see that their efforts will hardly make a difference? Do they know that they are wasting their time?

That was what people used to say about me. When I joined the student council back in my JC days, there were quite a number of people discouraging me in an attempt to 'avoid wasting my time'. They told me things like "It's not worth it, people will not appreciate you" or "Nothing that council does makes a difference". Of course, being the overly optimistic person I am, I ignored these comments and went with my heart, all ready to make a difference in the school. It did not take long for me to become disillusioned. I became aware that to actually make a difference, the people have to change - and that was something I could not change. Hear me out for a moment here:

You see, there is no such thing as a perfect community or organisation. There are always problems waiting to be resolved. Yet, the two main types of people that I observe are: 1) those that turn a blind eye to these problems and pretend that everything is fine; and 2) those who tried to resolve these problems but give up eventually because no one else is interested in resolving them.

The former does what is easy: it fits into the norm because everyone else is doing it. If other's aren't too bothered about these issues, why should you? Besides, bringing up problems within a community will only cause others to dislike you for being a wet blanket.

The latter does what is ideal initially; but due to discouragement and lack of results, overtime, they too start to realize that they have been too idealistic to want to bring about the change that they wanted to see. They start to see no point in putting in the extra hours and effort if no one else was going to. "Why am I always the one taking the initiative" becomes the perennial question. And I have been in this exact situation too often in my life, I started to lose my direction. 

I know I'm not the only one, there are many others whom I have spoken to who share the same sentiments; and its extremely sad that these people, who used to be so full of energy, passion and dedication to their ideals, have become drained, uninterested and lethargic overtime, simply because of the inherent problems of the community. I grieve for these people, because I know how it feels like to give your all and yet, receive nothing but disillusionment and a sense of hopelessness and despair.

Unfortunately, I feel this way too, at times, even in my own church. I am fully aware of the problems within the community, both as a whole and within the community of young people. While serving, I started to question myself: "Why are those volunteering to serve and helping out the same few people?" I saw a repeat of what I have been trying to do in various stages of my life: me and a few others trying to evoke change for the better in a community but burning out eventually due to the lack of cohesiveness of the community. But then I asked myself: "Is the community really to blame? Have I found any community out there that do not carry similar problems? Or am I just hopping around from place to place, in a hope that I'll find the perfect, flawless community to be in? In that case, why would I need to bring about any change then?"

I guess that shook me a little, and I've come to realize that there will ALWAYS be problems; and there's nothing I can do about that. What I CAN do, however, is to change the way I respond to it:

If there are problems, I don't pretend that they don't exist. I embrace them.

If everyone's waiting for someone else to make the first move, then I make the first move.

If no one takes the initiative, then I will take the initiative. 

If people think it isn't worth it, then I will show them that it is.

It doesn't matter if people think I'm a fool, or if people label me as 'simply enthusiastic'. This is because I know what my goals are, and this is my way of staying true to them. Here's why:

No matter how insignificant my efforts may seem, or how much people may not seem to care or appreciate my work, I know that all these discouragements are just a mere illusion. Because I know when I continue to serve and care, knowing that we all feel the same sense of being alone in our endeavours, deep down in each person, something will stir. Something will make them feel "hey, this guy is actually trying hard to bring people together for a good cause! Let's join in!" And this will go a long way because down the road, these same people will do the same thing as I did - to continue to work and serve because they see that somehow, they too will change someone else's heart, no matter how small the change.

As long as there is hope that people's hearts can change, there's is no better reason for me to keep pressing on doing what I do despite all the drawbacks. In fact, I can't help but feel a great sense of fulfillment when I see the young adults in the community getting to know each other better through a BBQ dinner or when someone mentions how much they enjoy the little times of random fellowship that we have together. It's simply awe-inspiring, how God takes our tiny, little effort and multiply it hundred-fold! 

In the midst of such optimism, I do not deny that I see the heart-wrenching reality of the situation. We're all going to get older and busier, and we won't be able to do the things that we are doing now. All these memories that we choose to create are the things remaining from the effort that we put in now. And I'll admit, my passion and energy will become limited in time to come. It's only a matter of time that I won't be able to do what I'm trying to do anymore. By that time, will I have gotten closer to my goal of truly bringing people together? How far will I be from my expectations? I shudder to imagine how I'd fare; which is why I'll keep running this race.

As long as I'm still breathing, I will spare no effort to make the best change I can make.

And I'll die with no regrets... but the sad truth behind my enthusiasm? Fear.

If you are still reading this, I thank you for your patience. Hopefully my story has somewhat inspired you if you've felt this way at a point in your life. Whatever you are doing or wherever you may be, don't ever stop doing what you believe in, especially if it's for the better of the people around you. Don't ever let the norm hinder your perseverance. Don't ever let your fear of judgment kill your passion. It will be worth it, trust me on that.

May the Lord bless you, O child of God.

Matt

Simplexity: simple, yet complex

Hello!

I haven't had a post in ages and thought this might be a good time to record a few thoughts which I felt would invoke much thinking. These are simple points but they carry much weight both in terms of truth and contemplation, hence the title.

For those who may not know, I have had a rough few months, especially in the workplace. I shall not give much detail about the experience (to spare you the agony of having to read these long stories) except that it was a truly trying period. However, upon listening to today's sermon, it became apparent to me that everything I have gone through is a necessary experience. It is only till now that I could piece everything together and make sense of it.

Note: The following points are not necessarily linked so they may end up seemingly random.

1) Practise what you preach.

Yes, its the grand-daddy of all cliches. There are many variants of it, such as: "Do what you say", "pot calling the kettle black", and so on. However, just think about it a little deeper and you'll begin to realize how words cannot express the sheer validity of such a statement.

This is the biggest gripe of non-believers out there today: 

Christians are some of the biggest hypocrites they have seen.

In all honesty, I do not blame them at all. Well, I used to think the same thing too! But have we stopped to think why is this particularly so in the Christian realm? Interesting, isn't it? To see how this accusation is most commonly applied to Christians all over the world, yet we barely hear the same thing said about people from other religions.

One reason for this is because Christianity makes the some of the boldest claims among the other faiths. Here's one of the biggest claims: "Jesus is perfect, and therefore, he is able to die for our sins and redeem us."

Now imagine yourself to be a non-believer and reading this: you'd probably wouldn't buy it. And why's that? For one, most people have already subscribed to the belief that perfection does not exist in the world (especially in our post-modern era) that they have already dismissed the notion that Jesus was perfect, much less talk about existence of sin and redemption. How will one attempt to even justify Jesus' perfection when 'no one is perfect'?

Of course, there are many more examples to illustrate my point but the bottom line is: a faith with greater claims demand greater scrutiny. And that is one of the most crucial factors when considering why Christianity is subjected to greater persecution. It is because of this that Christianity tends to be challenged to a larger extent than most other faiths and that's causing people to cry out - that we are not living up to what we claim.

It's a sad truth but here's where the thin chasm between a Christian and a non-Christian lie: The inexhaustible ability to live out his faith without compromise but with congruence. 

Essentially, if you claim to love another, then all the more it is important to demonstrate it; sometimes in the most unexpected or smallest ways. Of course, having said that, the claims of Christianity is undoubtedly difficult to live out but for the critics: do understand that in no way Christians claim to be perfect. Instead, we acknowledge that Jesus is indeed an embodiment of perfection itself and we want to strive to be more like Jesus. We will never be perfect, but we can be more and more like him. And if we fail in doing what we say to do, it is simply proof that we are ultimately still human and in the process of growth; and thus seek your forgiveness if we come across as hypocrites. This brings me to my next point...

2) Congruence is key.

Nobody likes someone who holds double standards, especially for a Christian. However, sometimes when a Christian fails to do something he or she is expected to do, at times under circumstances which may go unheard, they are accused by another Christian of being a bad testimony. Is this really the case? 

Say for instance, a Christian is unable to attend bible study or even Sunday service for that matter due to work commitments or family commitments. Do we pass judgment upon, or even scorn in silence at him/her? Or do we celebrate and give thanks for the fact that one of our brothers/sisters is wholly committed to giving his/her best at the workplace and for the family, both of which are things that Christians are called to do? I believe we can sense the former taking place quite often while hardly ever noticing the latter; at best, we just shrug it off and say: "Oh well, he/she is busy, hopefully he/she shows up next time!"

So what's all that talk about living out the values that we are called to?

If a Christian does the things that demonstrate biblical values, sometimes even at a compromise of certain interests as illustrated above; yet receive no praise or encouragement and instead finds himself/herself being badmouthed in return, what will he/she think of the rest of the community? How can we be so shallow to say that these people do not have their priorities right for putting other things before church when these are the very things that God has impressed upon us to fulfill? How warped is that logic!

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not saying that this is an excuse to condone the actions of people who perpetually avoid their responsibilities and repeatedly give excuses for themselves. I am saying that we need to look into our own actions, especially ones that are directed at others, and reflect on whether our words and actions are aligned with our thoughts and values; and whether we are sending the right message to other believers.

3) We MUST not marginalize non-believers.

I think this one's pretty obvious. Shockingly, not many believers have this mentality. Many believers tend to hold the conscious notion at the back of their heads that when they come across a non-believer, they have somewhat higher moral standards than the non-believer. However, this thought can come naturally with a conscious conjuring and admittedly, I have caught myself red-handed at times with these thoughts. However, it is important to understand that this mentality is complete ABSURD.

Speaking as a non-believer previously, I often looked down upon Christians largely because I had this idea that they saw themselves as 'better' than non-Christians. They seemed to have this need to only mix around with non-Christians and anything that a non-Christian said to them would always be considered as 'bad influence'. This is probably why you see quotes such as "Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a good person". 

In all honesty, that is true. As a non-believer, what made me scorn Christians even more was the fact that I, as a non-believer, could exhibit better moral values and upbringing than they could. So if I, being a non-believer, could be a better person than you so-called Christians, people who claim to be of high moral standards, what does this show? It shows that Christians are even worse people than non-Christians!

It's a sad and harsh truth, and that is why all the more a paradigm shift in thinking is urgently needed. We, as Christians, must see ourselves in no way better than non-Christians for we are all sinners, in need of God's grace and mercy. The only difference should be the fact that Christians are willing to give up their lives for Jesus and to follow in his teachings while non-Christians (many prefer to call them pre-believers) are people equally in need of Christ but just have not gotten to know him yet. 

You know, we could learn a lot from non-believers at times. Just ask around the more experienced church elders and Pastors, they'll have you know that some of the most important lessons on character were taught to them by non-believers!

Lesson: Reach out to non-believers with open arms and give ample weight to their opinions and thoughts. For all you know, you might get to know them at a much deeper level and they'll appreciate you for it. Regardless of whether you'll bring them to Christ or not, the least you could do is to bear a good testimony.

Writing up till this point, I've realized that I have so much more to write but perhaps I shall leave those thoughts for another day. Hopefully my thoughts have given you some insight, even if just a little, and helped you gain perspective, Christian or not.

I truly appreciate your support if you have read all the way to this point. Have a good week ahead and may God bless you in all that you do!

Cheers,

Matt